Imposter Syndrome: A Closer Look
As a researcher, especially as part of a community here at the University of Sussex, I know from experience and from conversations with fellow researchers that one of the biggest challenges we face is not one that is external but one that comes from within: Imposter Syndrome.
It is a struggle that we all experience but are scared to talk about. We fear that it may be unique to us or worse, true. Fortunately, there has been an increase in awareness and conversations about imposter syndrome in research communities.
Imposter syndrome has proved to be a popular topic on the Sussex Research Hive Blog, with several posts touching on it from different angles, and written by different researchers at Sussex. We have revived some of that rich content and have curated it for this virtual space hosted by SAGE.
We all have it. That little voice that pipes up whenever you have to stand up and present your research, or that feeling when you’re staring at a blank page wondering who on earth you’re kidding.
– Imposter Syndrome.
It doesn’t matter what stage you’re at, or how friendly the room, imposter syndrome can strike and it can be debilitating. It certainly doesn’t help that doing a PhD is almost designed to shake you to the depths of your self-belief. Each and every one of us is working on a huge project that promises to add to the global knowledge of our field. We are stuck between student and professional and the process of working with supervisors can sometimes feel like having your soul and heart flayed on a regular basis. If that’s what you feel like right now, take heart, you are not alone" ("Dealing with Imposter Syndrome," August 2019).
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As doctoral researchers, we are all vulnerable to this syndrome. We probably undermine our achievements, pass successes off as luck, or consider ourselves to be where we are simply through coincidence or some kind of fortunate planetary alignment. We might be a perfectionist, afraid to let even the slightest mistake show. The vast sea of studies we haven’t read makes our small pool of knowledge pale into unsettling insignificance.
Imposter Syndrome can negatively impact mental health through feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt and anxiety. It can also affect career choices, causing us to aim lower than we should to avoid potential failure. This has been shown to affect women more than men, and is also more common in minority groups.
In one example, a survey of 460 doctoral students showed that 11% of women ‘downshifted’, ie., moved away from higher goals in academia to which they had initially aspired, compared to 6% of men. This was found to be caused by feelings of imposterism, rather than concerns about the family-friendliness of an academic career. Is this one more thing holding women in particular back from Professorships and high-level academic careers? What is the solution?
Well, you can take online tests to define your level of imposterism, and even sign up to weekly “Imposter Buster” confidence builders… More seriously, there is an increasing abundance of fascinating published research that explores the topic of Imposter Phenomenon, and even compiles suggested strategies for addressing it" ("Exploring Imposter Syndrome: A Doctoral Discussion," August 2017).
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As PhD students we compete over who arrives earliest, who stays latest, who comes in at the weekends and who uses the most complicated techniques and model systems… We have a running joke in our lab, that at conferences the Principle Investigator presenting will always refer to the ‘Gifted and Talented’ PhD student or postdoc that has carried out that particular piece of research. But what happens if you’re just ordinary? You’re competent, you get on with your project and you enjoy what you do, but do you have to be a self-promoting, self-confident, self-flagellating superstar in order to really count as a ‘proper’ scientist?
I often wonder whether my lack of drive to outstrip my peers is synonymous with a lack of enthusiasm about my chosen career path, do I not want it enough? Am I pretending? But on the other hand, I know that I love my lab work, so this leaves me thinking about whether or not the competitive nature of science is actually reflective of the difference in attitude between men and women. Indeed it is true that the majority of the top lab positions are held by men, and I would say cautiously, without making any sweeping generalisations, that men tend to have more competitive natures than women.
The gender confidence gap is something which is well documented and I have read many articles which point to the fact that ‘Women lack confidence in their own research abilities’ but could we turn that around to read ‘Men are overconfident in their research abilities?’ Which begs the question, am I just a woman navigating a male-run, competitive discipline, where I have to gain more confidence in order to succeed? Or do I genuinely lack the drive and enthusiasm necessary to be a true scientist? Either way I look at it probably renders me an imposter in my field" ("Am I an Imposter?," November 2017).
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The excerpts above offer both a personal as well a collective understanding of what Imposter Syndrome can look like for different people doing a PhD even if this is common even outside of the academic world. As researchers within or outside of academia, it is always good to remind ourselves that we are not alone. That said, there is still scope for improvement within research clusters and universities to address this as a real issue and offer ways to combat it. Thus, it is increasingly significant that we support our friends and peers who might be experiencing these feelings of inadequacy and work together to spread awareness and offer reassurance.