Defying Darkness of Current Circumstances

by Dr. Connor J. Easley

So there I was... on the 9th of June, 2020, wearing work attire for the first time in three months, sitting in front of a green screen, in a video conference with 40+ people on three continents including: family, personal friends, friends I had met through conference experiences, labmates, coworkers from a previous internship, some of my former high school teachers and undergraduate professors, editors from various journals, some of the top researchers in my field of chemistry - including a Nobel laureate, .... and oh yeah, the committee who is there to determine if after five years of effort I am qualified to receive my Doctorate of Philosophy (PhD) in Chemistry for my work regarding defying traditional limits of organic polyarene photochemistry. This culminating experience went from something I was dreading to a day that could not have been more special, and it would not have happened without a pandemic.

Quickly backing-up to five years ago... I left the midwest, my home for 22 years, between growing up and attending my undergraduate institution, and travelled 2033 miles to Southern California, 2033 miles from my friends and family. I then struggled through graduate school, as everyone does, but powered through thanks to so many along the way. Graduate school had basically been my world for five years, and it had its own costs payable by long hours, high stress, constant criticism, and general anxiety. Having passed all of the previous written and oral exams, the toughest parts were behind me; it was my time to share the results of my five years of labor via a final in-person presentation to my labmates, local friends, my immediate family who would be flying in, and the committee who had judged my progress and abilities as a chemist many times along this journey. This step of the journey had stolen many nights of restful sleep and constantly gnawed at me both mentally and emotionally from a place of concern and anticipation.

With three months left before my dissertation defense… I had a paper left to publish and a few final experiments to complete to make conclusions more clear. Then, a virus drastically altered the daily functions within our society; my university shut down, teaching responsibilities transitioned online, graduate students were barred access to research labs, and my family didn’t feel safe flying out to California for my defense. The final three months were spent trying to focus on finishing up, yet now there was the stress and anxiety of being locked out of my research space, health concerns due to COVID-19, its unknown impact on my defense, and having only left my house approximately five times in three months. Never have I struggled more with my mental well-being, I felt like I should be being more productive considering the “free time” I now had. Then another tragedy happened and turmoil regarding police brutality became forefront in the national landscape. It could not be ignored, and I did my best to listen and engage in meaningful conversations to learn and understand better the events that were unfolding. This definitely took a toll on my mental energy, focus, and work; while I needed to focus on my dissertation and defense deadlines, I could not ignore what was happening on the streets and in the hearts and lives within our nation.

In response … I had to make a few changes. Through consistent emails and online video chats, I was able to mitigate the loss of in person contact with my advisor. While there was nothing I could do about lab access, it did give me more time to take the large tasks ahead and break them into smaller manageable steps yet allowing for mental health time to be incorporated. During the mental health breaks, I took time each day to try to have a normal conversation, one not pertaining to current events, with friends or family, which was calming mentally and emotionally and provided a sense of normalcy. Additionally, I refocused on maintaining a healthy diet and what exercise I could given current restrictions on travel, which helped with some anxiety and stress of being pent up inside as well as preparing my defense.

The changes were announced… and instead of being in person my defense would now be online. I imagined how this would minimize my ability to connect with and feed off my audience, limiting one of my stronger presentation traits of speaking with my hands, and require me to draw clear and concise diagrams on a computer rather than a white board. The silver lining though - my defense would be online: my family, my labmates, and my local friends could attend again, in fact it meant I could invite so many more. I had found a way to defy the darkness of the current circumstances. Had I had to give my presentation just to my committee, it would not have been as meaningful. Getting to share it with so many people who shared my journey with me, meant everything. So there I was...

Wishing you good mental and physical health, safe living, and a strong support system,

Dr. Connor J. Easley (he/him/his)
PhD (Chemistry), Bardeen Research Group
University of California, Riverside (2020)

About the author

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Dr. Connor J. Easley, an avid Hoosier and strong proponent of Arbor Day, obtained his Bachelor’s Degree in Chemistry from Hanover College in 2015 before earning his PhD in 2020 from the University of California, Riverside where he worked for Professor Christopher J. Bardeen on defying traditional limits of organic polyarene photochemistry. During his time as a graduate student, he received multiple fellowships for excellence in research, served two terms as a student member of the International Advisory Committee for the Pacific Conference on Spectroscopy and Dynamics, and two terms on the executive committee and one as the Executive Chairman of the graduate student organized University of California Chemical Symposium, and spent considerable time with the Air Force Research Labs as an intern both in the laboratory setting as well as a subject matter expert.